The iPhone 4s’s unique selling point is that it ‘talks’ via built-in personality, Siri, which should respond to voice commands with helpful, intelligent suggestions.
However, due to a factory mix-up of character chips Siri has the disposition of a foul-tempered octogenarian grandmother who blames immigrants for everything from all crime throughout history to the current lack of George Formby films.
iPhone 4s owner Tom Logan said: “I asked my phone for the nearest kebab house, and it said in a crotchety tone ‘do you mean roast dinner?’
“I repeated my command and it replied ‘because you don’t want to eat that foreign shite’.”
Sales manager Nikki Hollis said: “I was using the 4s’s satellite navigation technology to find Birmingham airport.
“You can imagine my surprise when it directed me to a flat-roofed pub with three rottweilers in the garden. It turns out there was a BNP meeting in the skittle alley.
“I asked my phone why it had taken me there and it said ‘because Enoch was right’.”
Apple fan Stephen Malley said: “I thought the Apple ethos was using technology to bring people together, rather than perpetuate a hate-filled agenda.
“However as a devotee I am happy to think whatever the company tells me to. If that means buying a stocky dog and persecuting people, so be it.”
An Apple spokesman said: “We apologise unreservedly for this entirely inadvertent error.
“Anyone with a racist iPhone 4s is invited to their nearest Apple store where we will swap it for a device that appreciates hummus, niche theatre and will alert you to any interesting Channel 4 documentaries about blood diamonds.”
Thanks to: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk